Slipstream Seamus and the Two Hunks
by Brit2
Summary: Another Andromeda fairy tale. Not slash despite the perhaps misleading title. Feedback positively encouraged.


Title: Slipstream Seamus and the Two Hunks  
  
By: Brit  
  
Status: Complete  
  
Rating: PG13  
  
Content: A little parody on Cinderella. This is my second fairy tale in answer to MaryAvatar's challenge. Disclaimer: I do not own Andromeda or any of the characters. I am not making any monetary or other gain from my writing. I do however own this story and if anyone would like to archive just let me know. Once upon a time there was a small human engineer called Seamus. He lived on board a beautiful star ship called Andromeda Ascendant. Seamus would have been very happy on board the Andromeda apart from three things. Also on board were two hunks. They were everything that Seamus wasn't, big and strong and drop dead gorgeous. They had no trouble with women. Females of every species fell at their feet. The ship also had an avatar called Rommie, she was very beautiful but no matter how hard Seamus tried she wouldn't give in to his attempts at flirting with her. These three were always expecting Seamus to fix things. He had fixed the slipstream drive so many times that he was known as Slipstream Seamus. He slept in a messy machine shop, when he was allowed to sleep. Rommie also had a holographic form that thought nothing of waking Seamus up at all hours of the night. All was not doom and gloom. Seamus did have a friend on board. Her name was Trance and she was a pretty purple girl with a tail. She was very sweet and kind and used to give Seamus tail hugs when he felt low. She also used to sneak him cans of Sparky cola. Sparky cola was the best thing in Seamus's life, apart from Trance that is. One day a beautiful Captain from another ship came on board. The two hunks fell over themselves to escort her round Andromeda. Seamus was told to keep out of the way; his baggy cargo pants and flashy Hawaiian shirts would offend the eyes of the beautiful Captain Valentine. Seamus caught sight of her just once and his eyes nearly popped out of his head at the sight of the beautiful blonde woman. Beka, for that was the Captain's name was very impressed by the Andromeda and also by the two hunks. However, she had caught a glimpse of the little engineer and thought he was very cute. Spiky blond hair, blue eyes and dimples were an appealing combination. It was his data port that she really wanted to get her hands on, an engineer with a data port was exactly what she needed for her own ship. She decided to have a party and invite the crew of the Andromeda to attend. She spoke to Rommie. "Please make sure that all your crew attend the party," she said. She intended to get the engineer on his own and make him an offer he couldn't refuse. Poor Seamus didn't hear about the party until it was almost too late. The two hunks and Rommie came into his machine shop and told him that he was in charge of the ship. They also left him a flexi with a list of tasks that would take him all night. Even Trance was going to the party. She gave Seamus a tail hug and promised to bring him back some goodies. Seamus didn't have time to mope after they had left. He had far too much work to do. He was upside down in a maintenance conduit when there was a puff of smoke and a tall grey Perseid appeared in front of him. Seamus reached for a nanowelder. The Perseid shook his head. "Slipstream Seamus, don't be afraid." Seamus was so startled that he let go of his handhold and fell on his head.  
  
"Ow, ow, ow," he said. "How do you know my name?" The Perseid bowed a little stiffly. "I am your Perseid god father, well I'm also your Perseid godmother because you know what Perseids are. I have come to grant you your dearest wish. Seamus you will go to the ball." Seamus laughed. "How can I go to the ball, I haven't got anything to wear or transport to get there." The Perseid waved his hand and Seamus was dressed from head to toe in the latest fashion for engineers. He even had a gold tool belt. He also had a mask over his face so that the two hunks and Rommie wouldn't recognise him.  
  
The Perseid collected together odds and ends of junk from the machine shop and put them in the docking bay. He waved his hand once more and there was the sleekest little shuttlecraft that Seamus had ever seen. "Now my boy go and enjoy the party. But remember, at the stroke of midnight your shuttle will revert to pieces of junk and your smart clothes will disappear." The Perseid disappeared as quickly as he had appeared. Seamus jumped into the shuttle and was soon docking at the beautiful Captain Beka's ship. The vessel was full of well-dressed people enjoying themselves. Seamus helped himself to a glass of Sparky and went in search of Beka. He found her dancing with hunk number 1. He tapped the hunks shoulder. "Excuse me," he said. He whirled Beka round the dance floor she melted into his arms. "What is your name stranger," she said to him. "Where do you come from?" Seamus didn't reply he just smiled at her showing his dimples to great effect. They danced together all night, only stopping for him to get a fresh glass of Sparky. The two hunks were muttering together, they wanted to dance with the beautiful captain and entice her to join them as a member of the Andromeda's crew. Seamus was enjoying himself so much he nearly forgot the Perseid's warning. Suddenly the clock began to strike midnight. Seamus put down his glass of Sparky and without having time to say goodbye ran to the docking bay. He just managed to get back to Andromeda in time before the shuttle disintegrated. He sighed and went back to finish the tasks that the hunks and Rommie had left for him. They came back on board in very bad humour. Beka had made them all search for the mysterious engineer. Trance looked thoughtful; there had been something about that engineer that she had recognised. Beka was left on board her ship with nothing left of her engineer but a half-drunk glass of Sparky cola. I know she thought I will visit all the people that came to the party. All I have to do is look for one with a data port who is able to stomach Sparky cola. There can't be many people who can do that. She visited every ship on her list but she didn't find her engineer on any of them. The last ship she visited was Andromeda. By this time news of her quest had reached Rommie, she was determined that one of the hunks should be chosen by the beautiful Captain Valentine. She stuck a pretend data port on each of their necks and then waited to see what would happen. Beka came on board with the glass of Sparky, there wasn't much left in the glass but most people had only managed a tiny sip before their stomachs rebelled. Hunk number one came forward first. He was very handsome if a little taller and darker than her engineer was. Maybe her memory was at fault, he had a data port. He raised the glass of Sparky a little reluctantly and took a sip. His face went red and he almost choked. "Aargh that was disgusting. Ship why did you make me take this test?" Hunk number two then took his place. He had a smug look on his face and he bowed to Beka. "Let the test begin," he said. He certainly had the data port and he was the very last person left to test. She offered him the glass and he took a large gulp. He looked round him triumphantly. Triumph soon turned to disaster as the Sparky hit his stomach and came back up again. He turned green and raced for the nearest bathroom. Beka was devastated. She had tested all the male party attendees and not one had passed the test. "Is there no one else on board the Andromeda," she queried? Rommie and hunk one shook their heads; hunk two was otherwise occupied. Trance stepped forward. "Yes there is one other. There is Seamus." Seamus had been hiding in the shadows watching the proceedings. Trance dragged him forwards. She pointed out his data port. Beka handed him the glass; there were just a few drops of Sparky left in it. Seamus drained the glass and licked his lips. Trance handed him a can and he opened it, poured it into the glass and drained it in one long swallow. Beka hugged him and with a look of scorn at Rommie and the hunks, carried him off to her ship. Trance went with them to look after Seamus. Rommie was so cross that she blew several major circuits. The hunks spent the rest of their lives trying to fix her. Beka and Seamus and Trance lived happily ever after. Cast List Cinderella - Seamus Harper  
  
Ugly Sister 1 - Tyr Anasazi  
  
Ugly Sister 2 - Dylan Hunt  
  
Wicked Stepmother - Rommie  
  
Buttons - Trance Gemini  
  
The Prince - Beka Valentine  
  
Fairy Godmother - An unnamed Perseid 


End file.
